Thursday, January 31, 2008

"I've Loved A Million Women In A Belladonic Haze"*

My friend Z and I, and maybe some others, are planning a trip up to Montreal to have our eyes lasered. This scares the bejesus out of me, but the time has come to try. So in preparation, this afternoon I had to have the old "full optical exam" where they put in the atropine drops to dilate your pupils (in order to get a really good look at the retinas.) This leaves one unable to focus on anything further than three inches away, for the rest of the day. Frustrating-- right now I have my face pressed right up against the laptop screen to type this. My plan to do paperwork until my dinner meeting is pretty much shot.

But I did notice, before retreating back to my office, that everyone looks slightly better through the dilated pupils. I mean, they aren't in focus, but the imagination fills in the missing parts, and people look handsomer and more beautiful. We've all heard how ladies of yore used drops distilled from deadly nightshade to give themselves that sexy, turned-on, dilated pupil look and attract boys (and giving the plant its scientific name, belladona.) But now I'm wondering whether the purpose was perhaps just as much to make the boys themselves look better-- belladonna goggling, if you will?

And another thought, I sure wish there was a psychiatric equivalent of atropine-- some drops I could put in patients' ears to dilate their brains and get a crystal-clear look at what's really going on in there.


(* Queen, 1973)

6 Comments:

Blogger girl MD said...

my dad had his eyes lasered. he had pretty horrible vision before, now just wears glasses for distance/driving. pretty neat. why montreal, though? is this just more of your obsession with all things canadian?

1/31/08, 10:03 PM  
Anonymous Michael J. said...

I wrote about my recent surgery at Laservue in Montreal at http://www.notio.com/2007/12/see_change_part.html

The thing you need for your patients ears is called mdma, and it went schedule I twenty years ago. Worked great though.

1/31/08, 11:05 PM  
Blogger Claire Colvin said...

It's almost worth someone coming at you with a laser just to get to go to Montreal. What a beautiful city. Plus at least you know you'll eat well. Mmmmm poutine.

2/1/08, 7:32 PM  
Blogger Turboglacier said...

No need to cross the border for poutine, Claire. Next week 520.14 and I are headed for a two-night guy-trip to Jay Peak, VT-- I know they have it in the cafeteria there!

GirlMD-- reason for going to Montreal is that the Canadians have had new laser technology approved considerably faster than the U.S., so they seem generally to be either one generation ahead, or have more experience with the same generation. Several UV friends have already had it done there and send good reports. I can send you the link to the clinic website if you like. (Also, it was previously cheaper to do it there, until the exchange rate flip-flopped-- now it's about the same price.)

2/2/08, 7:07 AM  
Blogger Doreen Orion said...

Greetings from a fellow shrink! I hadn't even considered going to Canada, but you make a good point.
I'm getting mine done in a couple of months. Am considering doing the monocular thing - my eye doc had it done on him and raves about it. Any thoughts? Anyone out there had it done - good/bad experiences? (Don't you just love people who ask for medical advice on the web? Of course, it can't possibly count as badly against them if they're MDs themselves.)

2/2/08, 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

try a place called duckfat in the old port area of the big city of the smallish state for poutine.

2/4/08, 9:20 PM  

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